Let Me Tell You a Story Page 9

  A slim young woman got up off the sofa and came to greet us. She was not much taller than Marynia, but moved gracefully as she walked towards us. Her sharp eyes and pretty face were surrounded by neat brown hair that fell to her shoulders. She was dressed in a plain dark skirt and blouse and flat brown shoes.

  ‘This is Hanka,’ Maciej said. ‘She lives here too.’

  ‘Hello,’ said Hanka, smiling at me. ‘That’s your bed.’ She pointed to one of the mattresses and then turned to face the only chest of drawers. ‘You can put your things in here,’ she said, pulling at one of the handles. ‘But make sure you keep them very tidy. We haven’t much room.’

  I handed my small bag to Marynia who was about to put my few things in the open drawer when Hanka put a hand on her arm to stop her.

  ‘No, let her do it herself,’ she said. ‘We’re not here to wait on her hand and foot. She must learn to look after herself. It’s enough that we have to share the room with her and the boy. I don’t intend to be her slave as well.’

  She was going to say more but Maciej put a restraining hand on her shoulder.

  ‘She’s only little, Hanka,’ Marynia said. ‘She will get used to doing things for herself soon enough.’

  ‘You bet she will,’ Hanka muttered under her breath.

  Marynia then turned to me and smiling a sad smile said, ‘Renata, I will help you this time,’ and she emptied the contents of my bag, placed them carefully into the drawer, and handed me my doll. Just then we heard a faint knock on the door below. The man went out and quickly returned with two more people: a thin, frightened-looking woman whose huge dark brown eyes looked enormous in her hollow white face, and a small timid boy who clung fiercely to his mother’s hand. He too was dark, with a sharply pointed, pinched face. He was wearing black cut-down trousers which hung off him in folds and a shabby navy-blue overcoat.

  ‘Say hello to Jan, Renata,’ Maciej said. ‘He’s going to live here too and you are going to be good friends and play together.’

  ‘Hello, Jan,’ I said obediently.

  Jan didn’t reply but hung his head and retreated behind his mother.

  ‘I can see life is going to be a big bundle of fun,’ Hanka remarked.

  ‘Shut up,’ Maciej hissed at her.

  ‘Please excuse her,’ he said to the other two women. ‘Hanka isn’t feeling well, which is why she is so crotchety today. Don’t worry, everything will be all right. I have a lovely treat for you children,’ he added, turning to Jan and me. ‘For supper tonight you are going to have some meat, a delicious stew. Hanka’s cooked it specially for you. Now go to that corner and get to know each other while we grownups have a little talk.’

  Poor little Jan remained rooted to the spot, unwilling to leave his mother’s side. I felt sorry for him and so held out my hand and then led him to the corner of the room that Maciej had indicated. I couldn’t think of anything to say so we stood there looking at each other and listening to the adults’ conversation.

  Maciej was talking.

  ‘We expect payment every Monday. Half the money will go to us and half to my wife who comes to collect her share regularly. In addition we expect contributions of food if you want those children fed. I insist that while they are here they are totally under my control with no interference from either of you. We are endangering our lives to look after them, therefore we must have absolute control. Can I also make it quite clear that, if the money for their board isn’t paid on time, they will be thrown out on to the street. We are not doing this for charity.’

  ‘You will be paid.’ Marynia’s voice was firm but cold.

  Jan’s mother promised too before wiping her eyes on a grubby handkerchief she pulled from her pocket.

  ‘I think you both ought to go now,’ Maciej said. ‘We don’t want them upset more than is necessary – the sooner they settle in the better.’

  Marynia hugged me close. Over my shoulder I could see Jan’s mother doing the same to him, her eyes closed and tears escaping from under her dark lashes.

  ‘I don’t want to stay here,’ I whispered urgently into Marynia’s ear as I clung to her. ‘I thought he looked nice, but he’s not and Hanka’s even worse. Please don’t leave me here.’

  ‘You’ll be fine and I’ll be back next week,’ Marynia promised as she pushed me gently away. I saw that she too was fighting to keep the tears that welled up in her eyes from falling.

  Jan, who had been silent up to now, began to sob as his tearful mother hurriedly left the room. Maciej showed his guests down to the front door and we were left alone with Hanka who immediately turned her back on us and stood staring at the blacked-out window.

  ‘Right,’ said Maciej when he returned. ‘That’s enough of all this snivelling nonsense from the lot of you.’ He turned to Hanka. ‘You nearly blew it, you bitch.’

  Hanka just sniffed in reply.

  Maciej turned to Jan who couldn’t stifle his sobs any longer and began to cry loudly.

  ‘Stop that moaning at once!’ he roared.

  With two large strides Maciej lunged at Jan, picked him up like a sack of potatoes and hurled him across the room onto his mattress. He turned to me. ‘We’re going to get some things straight. Right now,’ he snarled. ‘You and Jan are going to live here in this room with us. If you behave yourselves and do as you’re told, then you’ll be fine. If you don’t . . .’ He left the sentence unfinished but unclipped the belt from his trousers and waved it in front of us. ‘I hit very hard,’ he said. ‘Do you understand?’

  We both understood quite clearly.

  He softened his voice and added, ‘Now that we all know where we stand, let’s enjoy ourselves and have the stew Hanka has made as a special welcome treat. Say thank you to her for taking the trouble.’

  ‘Thank you,’ we whispered.

  ‘Sit down and don’t forget your manners.’

  We sat down at the table in the places he indicated. Hanka fetched a rusty pot from the stove as Maciej put four bowls on the table into which he ladled dollops of a watery brown liquid with fat floating on the surface and lumps of red gristly meat. Maciej handed us both a hunk of black bread with which to mop it up. When everyone was served, Maciej and Hanka tucked into their meal and ate quickly not saying a word to each other or to us. Jan and I simply sat and stared at the bowls in front of us. Maciej finally looked up from his meal, still chewing on his food.

  ‘Eat!’ he barked.

  Maciej had finished his first bowl and was helping himself to seconds. He then pushed the pot across the table towards Hanka who was scraping her bowl.

  ‘I’m not hungry,’ I said, pushing my bowl away. ‘I would like to go to bed, please.’

  ‘You’re not going anywhere till you have eaten up every scrap,’ Maciej said. ‘This is good food and you should be grateful for the opportunity to eat meat. It won’t come very often. And the same goes for you.’ He turned to Jan who was sitting there, spoon in hand, with silent tears rolling freely down his pale little face.

  ‘I can’t, I feel sick,’ Jan sobbed.

  ‘You’ll feel even more sick when I’ve finished with you.’ Maciej leapt to his feet and grabbed Jan by the back of his jumper. He lifted him into the air and stared wildly into his face before returning him abruptly to his seat.

  ‘Eat it at once,’ he snarled.

  Jan lifted a spoonful to his lips and slowly forced it into his mouth. He swallowed without chewing and then took mouthful after mouthful until all the stew was gone. Then he clapped his hand over his mouth and gagged. Without waiting for permission he rushed from the table to the lavatory whereupon he was violently sick.

  Maciej was about to go after him but Hanka stopped him. ‘He did what you said. He ate it all. Leave him alone.’

  Maciej glared, but sat down again. He turned his attention to me.

  ‘Pick up your spoon and eat . . . Now!’

  I picked up my spoon and managed to swallow a little bit of the gravy. I swallowed another spoonful. It wa
s horrible.

  ‘Eat a piece of meat.’ Maciej leant across the table and took the spoon from my hand and shovelled the biggest piece of fatty meat onto it, then handed me the spoon. At this point I, too, was crying.

  ‘Eat!’

  I put the spoon to my mouth and tried to swallow the congealed greasy meat whole, in one gulp, but it was too big. I coughed, spluttered and gagged. I couldn’t chew it because it was so tough. So I tried to spit it out.

  ‘Don’t you dare spit that out!’ Maciej said. ‘If you do . . .’

  In that moment I felt anger rising inside me, but didn’t dare disobey him. I could see Jan out of the corner of my eye and was terrified of what might happen if I angered Maciej still further. So I sat there, tears pouring down my face, my mouth full of the disgusting meat. I sat there for what seemed an eternity watching the film of grease gradually cover the surface of my bowl with a yellow crust that I would have to break through to get at the next piece of meat. My throat closed up. It felt as if that huge lump of flesh was stuck, refusing to go any further. I felt sick and terrified. My tormentor sat opposite me and watched my every move without saying a word. He never once took his eyes off me.

  ‘For God’s sake, leave the child alone,’ Hanka sighed, fed up with waiting. ‘If she wants to go to bed hungry, let her. She’ll only be sick if you make her eat it and I can do without the stink and mess, thank you.’

  ‘She’s an ungrateful brat,’ Maciej growled, glaring at me. ‘It’s the last time we waste horse meat on her. She can go hungry. Get to bed and don’t you dare move a muscle, you spoiled pampered child. Move fast before I decide to whip you.’

  I moved – very fast – towards my mattress, silently thanking Hanka for saving me from Maciej and for being more understanding. I undressed and slid under the blankets as fast as I could. Before I covered my head I glanced over to Jan who was invisible under his coverings on the mattress next to mine. Although I couldn’t see, I knew he was crying because of the telltale quivering of the blankets over his tiny back. I felt very sorry for him. I knew only too well what it was like to feel abandoned and all alone, not understanding what was going on. He was so small and unhappy. I decided then that I would try to be the best possible friend to him. Perhaps we could help each other. Perhaps he knew why Maciej and Hanka were being so horrid when they didn’t even know us. I would ask Marynia next time I saw her and, at the same time, try and persuade her to find Jan and me another place to stay. I knew that I had to look after him for as long as his mother wasn’t there for him.

  I lay there staring into darkness feeling the itchy blanket against my arms, legs and face, my ears alert to every sound. As I lay there I wondered why Jan was so frightened of everything. Why was he here when he obviously had a mother to look after him? But if she was Jewish, why was she allowed outside? My thoughts turned once again to my Mamusia and I wished she was with me under the blanket. Where was she now? Did she think about me or had she forgotten me? The Germans took her because she was Jewish, at least I knew that. But where had they taken her? What was that name old Piotr had told me – Szeb, Szebn-something, Szebnie. Again I tried to picture her face in my mind but it was blurred. I suddenly felt very alone.

  After a while I heard the click of the switch, plunging the room into darkness that seeped through my covers. Cautiously I pushed the scratchy blanket off my face. I felt safer now, hidden in the dark; at least Maciej couldn’t see me.

  I heard Maciej and Hanka getting ready for bed and in the dim light I saw them getting into bed. If they were using only one mattress, then the other one must be for someone else. Perhaps it was for his wife – he had mentioned his wife to Marynia. Perhaps his wife would be nicer than him.

  Soon I heard a murmur from across the room, then a giggle.

  ‘Shhhh, don’t wake them!’ I heard Hanka whisper.

  I strained my ears as Maciej replied, ‘Oh don’t worry, they’re both sleeping like babies.’

  Through the darkness came sounds of movement and occasional little groans and sighs that went on for ages. They seemed to be very restless sleepers. But at last when the noises were replaced by deep regular breathing and snores I was finally alone in the darkness. Yet it was still a long, long time before I, too, was able to escape into sleep.

  After that long first night, one day dragged into another. Jan and I weren’t allowed outside and, as always, had to keep quiet.

  ‘You stay on your mattress until we say you can come off,’ Hanka ordered us the next morning. ‘We don’t want any of the neighbours knowing you are here. You wait until they have all gone out. Then this afternoon when I say, you will get back on your mattress and play quietly.’

  No one visited. Maciej and Hanka stayed in the room with us; only occasionally during the day one or other would venture out and even then it wasn’t ever for very long. They never left Jan and me alone and wouldn’t tell us where they were going. Then Maciej started going out after dark.

  ‘Meeting tonight,’ he would say to Hanka over supper and Hanka would nod her head in reply.

  What these meetings were about neither he nor Hanka would say and I was much too afraid to ask. Maciej would leave soon after supper and not come back for several hours. Hanka was always anxious when Maciej was away, pacing up and down, smoking strong, pungent cigarettes, one after another, until she heard his footsteps on the landing. Then she would quickly stub out what remained of the cigarette and open the door. Maciej would take off his coat and the hushed whispering would begin as he recalled the evening’s events. Try as I might from my mattress on the floor I couldn’t hear anything of what Maciej told Hanka other than a few snatched words that meant nothing to me.

  During the day Maciej and Hanka kept reasonably quiet so that no one in the block had reason to visit and start asking difficult questions. Sometimes when they were bored or frustrated, they got cross with each other.

  This would often lead to an argument but it was quickly over. Hanka would purse her lips and stare at the blacked-out window, just as she had done when Jan and I arrived on that first evening, and Maciej, seeing that she wasn’t going to answer him, stopped arguing. It was during these moments that I would think how strange adults were. Why did they shout at each other so much? Why were they kind to us, or each other, one minute and shouting the next for no apparent reason, telling us not to be so naughty or selfish or rude? I came to the conclusion that it was always best to stay out of their way and keep my thoughts and feelings to myself.

  Jan and I settled quickly into the new routine. Jan was small and very quiet but not unfriendly. All his clothes were too big for him and they made him look smaller than he really was. His smooth hair surrounded his pale face and his large dark eyes always looked worried. I was becoming quite good now at picking up a new life, more often than not with strangers, and adopting their habits. I was able to tell what mood Maciej and Hanka were in and I quickly learned what I should and should not say or do. This made life easier for Jan and me. We didn’t have much to amuse us during the long days and so I decided I would concentrate more on listening to the adult conversations and try and understand the words they used. If I didn’t recognise a word, I would repeat it over and over again so that I would remember it and then ask Marynia what it meant on her next visit. I knew that things wouldn’t stay the same for ever, they never did. Change was just around the corner and I waited.

  At first Marynia visited regularly, always handing over the money and spending a few special moments with me explaining what the words I had learned meant, and helping me to understand.

  ‘I’ll be back soon, Renata, I promise,’ she would say, giving me a tight hug and a big kiss before she left. ‘Just six more nights.’

  But after the first few visits, Marynia didn’t come again. When Jan and I weren’t playing, I would sit and wait listening for the knock on the door downstairs and her footsteps as she slowly climbed the stairs. I knew that Jan did the same. Sometimes I could read his face and feel his
pain, knowing that he felt the same as me although he would never let on. Each evening as I lay under the blanket I would convince myself that I would see Marynia tomorrow. Just one more night, Renata, I said to myself over and over again.

  But the days passed and Marynia still didn’t come. I couldn’t understand what had gone wrong because the last time I saw her she had promised faithfully that she would be back soon and Marynia always kept her promises. I knew nothing could have happened to her because Maciej had said he’d throw me on to the streets if Marynia so much as missed one payment.

  But it was good to have a playmate: Jan and I got on well and at the advanced age of six, I felt very motherly towards him. Although he was just eight, a full two years older than me, he was always frightened. I had to take the lead and ended up doing the talking for both of us. He followed me around the room, sat beside me all the time and played whatever games I suggested. He would never quarrel with me like Zazula had done even when the boredom and frustration became almost too much to bear. In fact he hardly ever spoke at all.

  I secretly enjoyed bossing him around – I wasn’t the baby any more. I think he had always been with his mother and hadn’t lived this sort of life before, unlike me who had been doing it for ever, and I found it much easier to get used to living here. On the first day we were together I couldn’t get Jan to say a word. Then remembering all the tales Aunt Adela had told me I said, ‘Shall I tell you a story?’ Jan nodded his head and so it began. From then on I would involve him in my fantasies, recalling every smallest detail and sometimes elaborating them with my own. We spent long hours sitting cross-legged on our mattresses, Jan facing me, happily lost in the tale I was telling, but always saying nothing.

  ‘And the shoemaker and his wife peeped out from their hiding place behind the curtain to see two little elves leap up on to the work bench,’ I said, watching as Jan’s eyes grew wider. ‘They sat cross-legged, just like us, Jan, next to the pieces of soft leather and began to stitch . . .’ I imagined being a small elf and being able to escape through the crack under the door.