Let Me Tell You a Story Read online

  ‘A little thin and a bit peaky,’ she said, ‘but nothing good food and sleep won’t cure. You’re still our beautiful Renata,’ and she led me to the table in the centre of the room, which was decked with plates of the most delicious cakes and pastries that she had somehow managed to obtain for the welcoming party.

  Frederika’s father, Leon, was a large cuddly bear of a man, fond of sausage and plum brandy and miraculously never seemed to be short of either. He was obviously spoiled and had been waited on hand and foot all his life and still expected the same treatment in spite of all that was happening around him. ‘Grandma’ Hania spent her time making sure that he was happy and well looked after.

  The flat was small, consisting of one room, but it was unlike any room I had ever seen before – a wonder of glorious rugs that muffled any noise and created a feeling of peace and calm. Every inch of wall was hung with beautifully patterned rugs in lovely warm colours. One covered the table, several were laid on the divan bed that stood against the opposite wall. They were mysterious with an exotic, dusty smell.

  ‘Oh how beautiful,’ I exclaimed. ‘It’s just like Aladdin’s cave.’

  This pleased the old man mightily and he began to tell me that they were the remainder of a magnificent collection of Persian carpets that he had possessed before the Nazis took them all. My interest in his carpets made us friends at once and from that day I would sit on his knee for hours and listen to the stories he told me about life before the war. He was, of course, always the central figure, the hero of the tale, his life full of parties, outings and wonderful meals served by servants. He told me all about the apple of his eye, his beautiful Frederika, and what she was like when she was my age. How all her clothes were sent from the best stores in Vienna and of the wondrous holidays she and her brother, Karol, took every year: skiing in the mountains in winter, escaping the heat of summer by retreating to the mountains above Zakopane and bathing in the cool lake waters of Morskie Oko. Frederika had had a French governess to teach her at home and had not been sent to school until she was ten. Karol, being a boy, had of course gone to the best school in town. ‘Grandpa’ Leon talked about his collection of antique cameras, fob watches and jewellery. Most of which had either vanished in the war or been sold. He even told me about the many women he had loved and who had loved him back, ignoring his wife’s disapproving tut-tuts, oblivious to the idea that his ever-faithful partner might be upset by the tales of his beautiful women friends and roving eye or that I, a child of six and a half, was his only audience.

  Each morning I woke not believing my luck that my family had found me. No longer anxious and alone, I taught myself not to be afraid of the strange sounds I heard at night. I began to sleep well. I no longer had to race ahead, trying to understand the world. I could relax and begin to enjoy my life once again. I was so caught up with tales from ‘Grandpa’ Leon and the attentions of ‘Grandma’ Hania that I was unaware of Frederika’s daily activities away from the apartment; she was always very quiet when she returned home in the evenings.

  One evening after supper she called me to her and took my hands in hers.

  ‘Renata,’ she said, ‘I want to talk to you. I am going to have to break the promise I made to you.’

  My heart sank like a stone.

  ‘I thought I could find a job and somewhere to live where I could keep you with me, but it’s turning out to be impossible. You see, I have been offered a job that will involve me in a lot of travel and very long hours, so I won’t be here a lot of the time to look after you. But this job is important because it will help both of us.’

  I felt my new-found world, once again, come tumbling down around me. The room began to spin and I could barely keep upright. I grabbed the chair in front of me.

  ‘You aren’t going to send me back to the orphanage?’ I stammered, wide-eyed with fear. ‘Jorik will kill me. Please don’t send me back.’

  ‘I would never do that,’ Frederika assured me. ‘Never.’

  I was so relieved. ‘I have an idea,’ I said, thinking hard of a solution before Frederika changed her mind about the orphanage. ‘I could always stay here with your parents. I should like that very much.’

  ‘They would like it very much too,’ said Frederika, ‘but it’s not possible for you all to live in this one small room. No, I have made far better arrangements for you where I know you will be very happy with someone you know well and love. Try and guess who I mean,’ she teased.

  ‘I can’t think of anyone. I know Hanka and Jadwiga well but they don’t love me and don’t want me. It can’t be Marynia because Jusiek didn’t want me either. I don’t know.’

  ‘No, none of them. Let me tell you. I have decided to send you to live with your Great-aunt Zuzia and Great-uncle Julek. Do you remember them? Aunt Zuzia used to come and see you every day before the war. She is your Babcia’s sister.’

  ‘I do remember her a bit,’ I said. ‘Babcia used to call her a butterfly. But I don’t really remember Uncle Julek except that he was always grumpy. Where do they live now?’

  ‘They still live in Przemyśl where you were born. They have an apartment with several rooms and enough space for you. I had a letter from them today and they are longing to have you live with them. You will be very happy there.’

  ‘But will I ever see you again? Will you come and get me to live with you?’

  ‘Yes, my love, I told you I would and I will keep that part of my promise. I think the war will be over soon and then we will be together for ever.’

  I so wanted to believe her but I had heard these sorts of promises before, too many times.

  ‘But are you sure you’re doing the right thing?’ Hania was asking her daughter. ‘That child is so insecure. She has been pushed from one person to the next and now it’s going to happen all over again. Can’t you see it from her point of view? Don’t you think it would be better to leave her here with us? She’s settled in so nicely and she’s so happy. She’s quite a different child.’

  ‘Oh Mother, I sincerely wish I could, but it just won’t work. You have so little space and enough problems without the added responsibility of Renata.’

  ‘Renata is not a problem. She’s a really good child and we have grown to love her.’

  ‘She is a growing girl. She is going to need more space than this and anyway it’s too dangerous here in Warsaw. She will be safer with Zuzia and Julek, and now Julek has been allowed to work again they are in a better position to provide for her.’

  ‘But, darling, you know what a difficult man Julek is. He’s going to hate having a child there all the time. You could hardly call him tolerant. As for poor Zuzia, she is broken after the death of both her boys. It would only serve as a reminder . . .’

  ‘Yes, I know all that,’ Frederika whispered impatiently, ‘but what am I supposed to do? I am at my wits’ end. I’m filled with guilt about Renata, worried about you and Father and all I want is that we all survive this ghastly war. You know,’ Frederika continued, ‘I think Renata may turn out to be Zuzia’s salvation. Renata will give her less time to think about her two boys and she will be someone Zuzia can devote herself to and pour her love on. I think it may turn out better than you imagine.’

  ‘Well I hope you’re right,’ her mother responded.

  ‘Believe me, Renata will be loved and happy.’

  ‘How do you intend to get her to Przemyśl, and when?’ asked ‘Grandma’ Hania.

  ‘She will go by train the day after tomorrow,’ Frederika replied.

  ‘Does Zuzia know she is coming?’

  ‘Mother! What do you take me for? Of course she knows. Remember they will be good for each other, and it may even make Julek a little less self-absorbed – though that would be a miracle.

  ‘One other thing,’ Frederika said. ‘I’m counting on your support. You must make Renata believe that you are fully behind the idea of her going. It’s not going to help her if she knows you are upset.’

  ‘She won’t know, I
promise,’ her mother replied.

  But of course I knew. Lying on my bed of cushions on the floor, I had been wide awake and heard every word of their whispered conversation.

  Chapter Twelve

  April 1944. Warsaw to Przemyśl

  Božena Lipowska was waiting when Frederika and I arrived. The station hall was heaving with German soldiers checking people’s documents. It was clever of Božena to spot us but she was tall and could see above people’s heads. She waved and Frederika waved back as Božena fought her way through the crowds to get to us.

  ‘Renata, this is Božena,’ said Frederika. ‘She is a very good friend of mine and she is going with you to Aunt Zuzia’s. She will deliver you there and then she’ll let me know that you have arrived safely. Tonight you will be staying with some friends of hers in the country and this time tomorrow you will be back in Przemyśl. Won’t that be nice? You have absolutely nothing at all to worry about, my darling.’

  ‘Why can’t you take me yourself?’ I asked, clinging on to Frederika’s arm. I hated all the loud noise, the fact that the monster soldiers of my nightmares were so close, and the crowds of people were bumping and jostling us.

  I was stalling for time, knowing that Frederika would soon be gone. I felt very unsure and unhappy. I did not like this at all. I was going to be left alone with a stranger, again, and I’d had enough of being passed around, hidden by strangers, told to be quiet, having to stay indoors, being frightened and confused. Why could I not stay here where I knew people loved me and wanted to care for me? I tried again, knowing it was my last chance.

  ‘Please, Frederika, please can I stay with “Grandma” Hania and “Grandpa” Leon?’

  ‘Sweetheart, we’ve been through all this.’ She sighed. ‘And I’ve explained the situation to you. You’re a big girl now. I promise it won’t be long before I come to see you and I’ll write often and you must write to me. Now say hello to Božena.’

  The strange woman bent down so her face was level with mine and smiled at me. She had very short brown hair and a plain, open face, but she was smiling and looked friendly enough.

  ‘Hello, Renata,’ she said in a kindly voice, taking my hand.

  ‘Hello,’ I said.

  Božena kissed me and then stood up and turned to Frederika.

  ‘I’ll contact you as soon as I’m back. Don’t worry about a thing. We’ll be fine.’

  ‘I know you will. Thank you, Božena,’ Frederika said and then turning to me for the last time she said, ‘Right, my darling, I will fight my way out of here and leave you to get on the train. It should be here at any moment.’

  Before I had a chance to cry or say another word, she turned away and was instantly swallowed up by the crowd.

  ‘Now it’s just you and me,’ Božena said, giving my hand a gentle squeeze. ‘We’re going to have a fine time. Listen, when the train comes, remember to hang on to me so we don’t lose each other. If by any chance we do get separated, don’t panic. Just go and stand by that tall, stone building over there till I come and find you. But if you hang on tight, there should be no problem.’

  We pushed our way to the platform, which was full of people. Some were carrying suitcases, others had heavy baskets filled with different sorts of vegetables, or live animals – squawking chickens and fluffy rabbits. Everyone appeared to have a purpose. Soldiers in uniforms and shiny boots were everywhere, their guns raised. I tried to hide behind Božena so that they wouldn’t notice me. People were shouting at the tops of their voices and it seemed to me that the whole world had decided to board our train. With difficulty Božena steered me to the front of the platform where people were either sitting on the ground, squatting or standing. Everyone was waiting like us for the train to arrive.

  Eventually, after what seemed like an eternity, a cloud of smoke appeared in the distance and with a hissing, hooting and puffing, a train slowly pulled into the station. Instantly the whole platform began to move. People began shoving and pushing, battling their way on to the train before it had even come to a standstill. Some were forcing and squeezing their belongings in through the door while others were even hanging on to the side of the train and climbing on to the roof. I could see that there was not enough room for everyone – Božena told me that this was the only train of the day, so everyone would try and get a ride somehow.

  Božena was an expert at getting through a crowd, which was lucky for me. She was a big woman and she didn’t think twice about shoving people aside with her elbows and her large bottom. When we finally reached the door to the carriage, she picked me up and struggled on board as someone handed her my bag from below. She raised her hand in thanks and then forced me further into the overflowing carriage. She spied a small space against one wall and firmly wedged me between the side of the wagon on one side and her body on the other. Although we had to stand, I could at least lean against her.

  A loud whistle sounded and the train jerked forward, sending people lurching against each other. We were off. The train slowly picked up speed and steamed away from the station. I felt cold and sick. I was on the move again to another location with people I didn’t know. Božena rearranged herself with difficulty, pulling me sideways and lodging me between her big knees so that she wouldn’t lose me. I couldn’t see outside so I looked at the wicker basket held by the woman next to Božena. It was full of chickens and rabbits so tightly squashed in together that they too couldn’t move. As the hens squawked their displeasure I forgot how uncomfortable I was as I felt so sorry for these poor creatures.

  After a while I felt the nagging urge to go to the toilet, so I pulled at Božena’s skirt.

  ‘What is it?’ Božena shouted, peering down at me and swaying from side to side.

  ‘I need the lavatory, please,’ I said quietly, not wishing to draw attention to myself.

  ‘You must shout louder. I can’t hear you,’ she bellowed back.

  ‘I need the toilet,’ I yelled, realising that no one would hear me above the noise of the train and the chickens.

  ‘Can’t do a thing about it. Sorry. You’ll just have to wait.’ Božena returned her gaze to the far side of the wagon.

  I tried to ignore the feeling in my bladder, but after a while a little puddle formed around my shoes. I looked about the carriage and to my relief we were so tightly packed that no one had noticed. But I felt so ashamed. I remembered Jorik and was worried that Božena would punish me when she realised what had happened.

  The train eventually came to a halt. The doors opened and people pushed their way outside to stretch their legs and breathe in the fresh air. To my surprise the train hadn’t stopped at a station but somewhere out in the country and it was already getting dark. Božena helped me to the door and then jumped down onto the rough grass below. She held out her arms to help me do the same.

  ‘Right,’ she said. ‘Now’s your opportunity to do your business.’ She pulled down my pants and didn’t seem to notice that they were wet, or if she did, she made no comment.

  ‘Squat here,’ she said, ‘and get on with it. It’s going to be at least another couple of hours before we stop for the night.’

  ‘I can’t,’ I said, my face all hot, ‘not here.’

  ‘What d’you mean you can’t? You told me you needed to go, so here’s your chance.’

  ‘I can’t, not with all these people around.’

  ‘Miss Vanity Box, is it? Who do you think cares if a child of your age does a pee? Don’t give me that nonsense. Get on with it before I get angry with you.’

  As she spoke Božena pulled down her own pants and squatted. I watched, horrified, as a great golden frothy stream flowed out from under her skirts. I felt I would die from shame but no one seemed to even notice Božena. In fact I could see others doing exactly the same thing.

  Suddenly the train whistle sounded and everyone began a mad scramble to clamber aboard again. Božena stood up, straightened her skirts and then helped me back into the wagon.

  ‘All ri
ght?’ Božena shouted as we found our places once more.

  I shook my head to indicate that things were far from all right.

  ‘You’re spoiled,’ Božena bellowed, not bothering to ask what the problem was. ‘The train in which your mother travelled was a hundred times worse than this, believe me.’

  I was flabbergasted. How could Mamusia and Babcia’s journey have been any worse than this? Did their journey take this long? Where did they go? Now I couldn’t stop thinking about them and the fact that they too had gone on a train.

  Eventually after what seemed a lot longer than two hours, the train clanked its way into a small station where it would remain until the next morning. Most people were forced to sleep either in the wagons or on the platform and, when no further room was available, some bravely crept underneath the train to sleep as best as they might. But just as Frederika had told me, Božena had made other arrangements.

  ‘Come on,’ Božena said, pulling me towards the door. ‘We’re staying with some people I know who live in the village not far from here.’

  We left the small station full of shadowy figures preparing themselves for the night, wrapping themselves in blankets and huddling against each other for warmth, all settling down across the platform and under the train, and made our way along a deserted lane, pitch black and full of holes. I could smell the sweet smell of farm animals and hear soft stirrings, rustling and snuffling noises out in the darkness. Božena held my hand tightly.